Talk, talk, talk with your tween
Everyone is texting and tweeting and no one is communicating.
Choose
an activity you can do together to give you a chance to talk. My
daughter and I cleanse our skin together before bed, and I use those few
minutes as a time where she tells me about school, her friends and
whatever
else is on her mind. If a child feels you are present and not
distracted by your
cell phone, it will help her feel secure in herself
going forward. After all, if your
own mother doesn't want to hear about
your life, who will?
Don't be judgmental of your tween
Whether your daughter asks about shaving, getting her period, wearing
makeup or sex, you should be thoughtful and understanding. Do
not change the subject, make her feel ashamed for asking or tell her she
is too young for such talk. She is looking
to you for guidance so she
can feel confident in her decisions. Listen to her and assure her
you
will always be there for her. Discuss the issue at hand, ask her what
her friends are doing and give her honest answers.
Be a positive role model for your tween
If you encourage your daughter to eat healthy and exercise -- while
you sit
on the couch eating chips -- you are sending her a mixed
message. If you do not want
her to make your mistakes, take the
opportunity to modify your behavior and ask for
her help. Clean out the
junk food together and replace it with fruits and veggies.
Take a bike
ride with her, do a fun workout DVD together and get healthy.
Encourage healthy social development with your tween's peers
To a tween, having friends is everything. Make your home a place
where her friends want to come. Encourage her to invite girls over for
sleepovers and plan lots of fun activities for them. You will get to
know her friends and it will help her to develop strong friendships. If
she feels she has friends, it will improve her self esteem.
Don't leave out your partner in raising your tween
Girls need both parents to help them develop healthy relationships
going forward.
Having special one-on-one time with each parent --
preferably without the other siblings
present -- will make her feel
special and give her the forum to talk about things she may
not want to
discuss with the other parent. This will make her feel more secure and
foster
better self esteem as she moves into womanhood.